Thursday, April 23, 2009

Inclusion - The New Opiate of the Masses

They tell me nice girls from the south refrain from talking about religion and politics, because it is best to keep the peace. For the record, both of my parents are retired from their careers in the United States Air Force. I am, therefore, technically a root-less military brat and my soul believes home is a beach, humid and salty, where I can put my toes in the sand and relax for hours while the sun destroys my evolutionarily incompetent fair and freckled skin. So, despite living in Nashville most of the last eighteen years, no one has ever accused me of being a southern girl... or nice, for that matter.

Politics and religion are all screwed up. There are many things wrong with both, and fixing either would take far more than all of the king's horses and all the king's men. I will not pretend that I can put them back together again, but there are a few little items, specifically arrogance and exclusivity, that even a fool could tell are not helping their reputations.

I believe abusing others with your opinion is arrogant, and abusing others with your supposed ethics is downright rude. Most importantly, abusing others with your religion is simple blasphemy and it has to stop. If we sincerely hope to achieve anything resembling progress in this world, this arrogance-based abuse of one another must stop. I repeat... stand down with your sacred text of choice. That book is for your spiritual exploration; you can offer to share it with those willing or even eager to listen, but please refrain from wielding your beliefs as a weapon against others. Thanks.

We have two choices, inclusive and exclusive, and I am sick to death of our tendency toward the latter. When you can choose, and I think you can ALWAYS choose, why not pick language and behaviors of inclusion?

I’m only going to offer one, very effective, empower-or-offend-readers-of-every-group example of the choice at hand. Let’s talk about that holiday period near the end of our calendar year, which is celebrated by almost everyone in one fashion or another.

To tree or not to tree, that is the question, or is it? Perhaps the question is something more romantic, like do you light candles or plug in strings of colorful flashing lights? Do you celebrate a person, and is it this dude or the other dude? If you simply celebrate the time of year, is it tied the coldest of our four seasons or frozen precipitation? Call it what you like, most of us do celebrate something at the end of the year.

For those who choose to tree in my community, there is a place that pops up mid-December to facilitate the recycling of those trees whose lives where lost during the “celebration”. For several years, I watched with mixed emotions as the directional signs rotated back and forth between saying “Christmas Tree” Recycling Center and “Holiday Tree” Recycling Center. For clarification, I don’t mean one year the signs said one thing and the next year they said something else. I mean that during one tree recycling season, the signs changed back and forth depending on who got their hands on it last before I drove by.

So, this is where I get harsh... GET OVER YOURSELVES! Is this the best use of our resources, micro-managing the language used on the signs directing us to where thousands upon thousands of TREES go after their time on this earth ends displaying our decorations for three whole weeks of celebration? Really?

During this time period in 2008, I enjoyed working with a client who is of one particular belief system and holds a remarkably levelheaded and inclusive position on this matter. When she wants to give a gift to someone in honor of this time of celebration, she gives the gift, wait for it... according to the recipient’s beliefs! Shocking, I know. For the loved one who loves angels, she buys angel stuff. For the person who celebrates winter, she buys winter stuff. It is blue and silver wrapping paper for those who do this, and red and green for those who do that. Novel, I agree.

Every coin has two sides, and I carry the energy of the fire starter, so here is the flip side of the above described enlightened (and inclusive) gift giver. This is her way, and it won’t work for everyone. Some people feel that giving a gift which honors another religion would be disrespectful to their own faith. I believe that should be okay, too. To those who are offended by the well wishes offered in language not consistent with their beliefs, I say it again - really? Is this the best use of our resources, trying to force the cashier at the grocery store (who is a single mom, working three jobs to support her young children) to use the language we use for our late December celebration? Really?

I understand the temptation to choose exclusive thinking and language. I recognize how... uncomplicated, perhaps even refreshing, it feels when you share space with people who agree with you. No challenges or explanations feel necessary when you are with your tribe. The shared excitement and energy of a group of like-minded individuals is a soul enriching experience, for sure.

This is not to be confused with real life. We all live together, in this space, and this time - a natural diversity, which we can celebrate. Intolerance of our differences must stop.

In fact, tolerance alone is not enough to fix what is broken. We must strive for a higher state, a perspective beyond tolerance. Let us strive to understand, appreciate, and celebrate the differences among us. Seek out those who look, act, think, feel and function differently. Welcome them into your life. Their strengths will compliment your weaknesses, and yours the same for them. Together we are stronger. Diversity is power.

If you don’t believe me, look around you. Exclusivity is what got us here.